There are five foolproof reasons your partner won’t have sex with you or sex is going away or less than it should be.
The truth of the matter is only one of them really likely has anything to do with you. When you’re in a relationship where you’re not getting the sex, very often there’s the sense of “There is something wrong with me or “I’m not doing something right” or “I’m not good enough.” The truth is, there’s probably only one of those reasons that is really about you. Let’s run through them.
There is something medical going on that is basically producing their libido away to not much. That can be either some sort of disease they have, hormonal imbalances, changes in their endocrine system or medications they are on. There are plenty of medications that really affect people’s sex drive. If it’s a case where the husband basically has next to no testosterone, there is nothing the wife can do to gain his attention sexually.
This can be solved by knowing all the medications they’re on by getting checked out by a doctor.
Heavy Duty Porn Use
This is pretty much rampant these days. Essentially, if your partner who is into heavy porn use is sending all their sexual energy in the direction somewhere else other than you, they’re going to be basically hooked into it, connected to it, and not interested in you. Moreover, all their energy is going elsewhere. Unless you can find all the porn use and stop it, they will never give their full attention back to you.
There’s Someone Else
There’s somebody else in the picture that they are becoming emotionally, mentally or physically engaged with. This can happen relatively quickly or it can slowly creep up. If you’re seeing marked changes in their behavior, the way they dress, how they treat you or some sort of sudden change, and you have the sort of sixth sense dread that there is someone else, it’s well worth checking into. If they are already deeply engaged or hooked with somebody else, your effort of trying to make yourself better is not necessary going to pull their attention back.
History Of Trauma
There’s some sort of major trauma in their life. If you have the situation where they’ve been sexually abused as children or teenagers, had some sort of other rape or serious trauma, often there comes a point where they have some blockage in terms of wanting to be sexual with potentially anyone. It’s also possible that some of that trauma has come with you, especially if you have been in any way abusive or if you’ve had any sense of genuine neglect, where they sort of reach that critical moment of being incredibly hurt and then, they shut down. Counseling follow-up would help a lot in this situation.
They’re Hiding Something
There is a primary reason they got married other than wanting to be with you. In other words, there is some sort of elephant in the room or they’re hiding a secret or want to escape something, where they got married to basically have a sense of security and safety. One of the most common reasons this happens is that they are gay or lesbian. They’ve gotten married or in a relationship with you to basically hide from trying to this so-called normal life without coming out. As that starts coming out more and more, that’s when the relationship starts to break down. You two may need to seek out professional guidance, try to accept this reality and move on.
— Emily Morse (@SexWithEmily) June 21, 2018